Aunt Erma's Monster Cookies (amazing orgasm-inducing cookies of awesome)

From JhuWiki

paspaszelb These are without a doubt the best cookies in the universe. Remove all preconceptions you had about what a good cookie is or what you thought the best recipe was--you are wrong. These are the best. You have not lived until you have eaten them, and once you have eaten them you will long for them the rest of your life. These cookies are meal unto themselves. The only requirement is copious amounts of milk.

[edit] Servings

About 45-60 with a full batch. You'll want to eat all of them, but will probably only be able to get through one, two at most since they're HUGE.

[edit] Ingredients

• 1 lb sweet butter
• 2 lbs brown sugar
• 4 c white sugar
• 12 eggs
• 1 tbsp vanilla
• 1 tbsp dark karo syrup
• 3.5 lbs smooth peanut butter
• 8 tsp baking soda
• 18 c oatmeal
• 1 lb M&Ms
• 1 lb chocolate chips

Karo is not required, so don't buy a whole new bottle if you don't have any. It's OK to use a little more peanut butter, M&Ms, and chocolate chips if you don't feel like having half-used containers as well (peanut butter usually comes in 1 lbs 12 oz containers (2 makes 3.5 lbs), M&Ms in 14 oz packages, and chocolate chips in 12 oz packages).

[edit] Instructions

You're going to need a really, really big bowl if you're making the full batch. Unless you have a powerful electric mixer or a big spoon and massive forearms, it's best to use your hands for the blending. It's much easier, and a lot more fun anyway.

1. Put out the butter half an hour to an hour before starting to cook. This softens it up so it's easier to cook--not so necessary if you have an electric mixer.
2. Preheat the oven to 375° F.
3. Thoroughly mix the butter and sugars--there shouldn't be any lumps of butter left.
4. Add eggs, vanilla, and karo, mix some more.
5. Add the peanut butter. Whee! This is fun!
6. Baking soda.
7. Oatmeal. Do it one cup at a time, or it will be really difficult to fully blend.
8. Chocolate chips and M&Ms. Scrape the batter off the bottom of the bowl to make sure the delicious morsels are evenly distributed.
9. Grease the cookie sheet and load it up. Use a sphere of dough about three inches across per cookie--think nine cookies per standard-size cookie sheet (14" x 16").
10. Bake for 12-17 minutes. It'll depend on how good your oven is - the AMR ones take much longer. The edges of the cookie should be dry and darker brown around the edges, light brown on the top. They should not look wet in the center, but if they're starting to burn on the edges don't worry about this and just take them out. They're very thick so it's impossible to get them fully cooked (the softness is part of the appeal anyway).
11. Let cool on the pan for a few minutes until they're stiff enough to pick up with a spatula, then let them cool the rest of the way on paper towels. If they're too gooey don't cook them more, just stick 'em in the freezer and take 'em out when they're cold.
12. Serve with lots and lots of milk.